Hi! I'm so happy you're here.
I believe that you're never too old, too young, too inexperienced, too inflexible etc. to start making strides towards who you know you can be. Working with me, I want to make sure that you feel confident in the person you are and are becoming by providing you with either group or one-on-one support.
Are you ready to take the first step on your wholeness journey?
My Story
When I was growing up in New York, I remember sitting alone in our public library reading books on mental wellness, yoga, the meaning of life, and all the other self-help books I could get my hands on. I was fascinated by people, by healing, and by my own tendencies to be less concerned with the day-to-day grind, and more of the bigger picture. As a child and teenager, I struggled with my own mental health, and sought to find information about what I was struggling with. These books showed me that somehow, somewhere, there was something out there that would make me whole. I held the underlying belief that I was fundamentally flawed. And I feel that my entire life up until a few years ago led me to pursue the things that could make me whole again. From the age of 14 on, I attended thousands (not an exaggeration) of yoga classes, meditations, and sound healings. In each class, I worked to chip away at the one answer: what do I need to do to be whole? What do I need to fix to be lovable? What do I need to confront in myself that will make me fit in?
Part of that pursuit led me out of New York, mostly because after researching "happiest college towns," I was led to Boulder, Colorado wherein I studied sociology, Spanish, and public health. While I learned about in-groups and out-groups, norms, societal structures, and otherwise, I deepened my yoga practice through CU Boulder's gym yoga classes, until I found YogaPod in Boulder. I pretty much attended a class a day, and finally during my senior year, I decided to go after my dream of obtaining my own teaching license. I was accepted into ViraVinyasa's 200 hour YA-approved yoga training, and couldn't wait to begin the week following my graduation. The training program radically altered my comfortability with myself and others; I began craving community, tending to my heart, and believing that I actually could make a change in the world.
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You can imagine the feelings of panic and subtle regret that I felt about graduating with a sociology degree shortly after a pandemic. Lucky for me, about a month prior to my graduation, I also scored a job with a base salary higher than I could have ever dreamed working as a research associate with a healthcare software company. I dreamed of the research I would be able to dive into with patients. I hoped it would be similar to the research I had accomplished on campus surrounding public housing redevelopment projects and how it affected the health of the community, air quality assessment work that studied the impact of wildfires on human health, and other personal projects. Unlucky for me, I didn't realize that I was going to be dipping my toes into the business-side of the pharmaceutical business quite a bit more than I had ever (if ever) desired.
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Less than a year into my role, and while teaching at Ahimsa Yoga & Wellness, I began wondering what my escape route would be. I didn't want to level up in pharma. I was making countless mistakes on the job, more than I ever had at anything. I was losing interest, resentful of the ~10 hours a day I would spend at my desk, and craving more. I once again turned back to the idea that I needed to find what would make me whole.
I wanted to just teach, but wasn't sure if a full-time teaching career would be sustainable. At the time, I was assisting in my own teacher's second round of YTT, helping out a group of remarkable students training to be teachers. One Sunday night, as we were discussing mythology and its role in yoga, I received an urgent message from my boss, prompting me to essentially leave the training and return home to work on an Excel sheet that I had already clocked 60+ hours that week on. I made up my mind then and there that that life wasn't for me. I put in an advanced notice of my leave, booked a flight to Costa Rica, and prepared myself for what was to come.
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Before my notice for leave was up, and while I was figuring out my next steps, I had an extremely vivid flashback to sitting in the library at 16 years old, reading the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM): a manual to help diagnose and understand mental illness. This image provided me with the most invaluable insight: I needed to go back to school, get my masters in mental health counseling, and I needed to find out where yoga fit into my career. Yoga was no longer a hobby or an interest of mine, it had to be my life.
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Thankfully before I officially left the company, I received an acceptance to Regis University where I am currently studying mental health counseling. I had my interview the day before my flight, and then I spent over 5 weeks in Costa Rica teaching yoga in exchange for stay at hostels, meeting people from around the world, and learning through experience what it felt like to be unabashedly myself. I felt free, supported, and comfortable with who I was becoming. My creativity returned, I felt more present, and I was confident in where I was going.
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Following that period of my life, I really tuned back into what mattered to me the most: people, healing, and the bigger picture.
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Over the next year, I took the time to explore the darkest corners of my mind, reconnect with my body, and reconnect with the spiritual side of my life. Through medicine-work, meditation, and following my path with vigor and certainty, I realized that I was never meant to be anything other than who I am now. All of it was worth it. I realized I was supposed to be lost. I was never supposed to just "know" what to do. I was being led the whole way whether I knew it or not.
This exploration focused more on "being" than "doing." Moving out of my head and into the union of my mind, body, and spirit, I was able to move away from the self-led life I once wanted to lead. I now find myself moving into the clinical portion of my mental health counseling graduate program, teaching yoga, meditation, and sound healing at places that value and nurture me, and in a loving partnership that continues pushing me towards self-fulfillment and alignment with the Universe! While I'm far from perfect, I am at peace. I now approach my practices with the idea of amplifying my wholeness, seeking ways to make my own unique light shine brighter, and focusing on adding to my community in meaningful ways.
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And that's where you find me now: dedicated to helping you find your wholeness, rejecting the idea that you are anything less than whole and perfect exactly as you are. It is my sacred duty to be able to support YOU in guiding yourself back to yourself through the tools of sound, meditation, and movement.
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And to answer those questions at the beginning of this post in case it hasn't been made clear: There is nothing you need to do to be whole. There is nothing you need to fix to be lovable. And the only thing you need to confront in yourself to fit in, is that you never had to fit in at all.
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With so much love and gratitude,
Caroline
Let's Connect!
Still want to learn more or ready to start your journey back to wholeness? Feel free to reach out or schedule a complimentary 15 minute phone call.
631.905.5875